In case you were wondering...

Ah, my lovely blog. So neglected... but for good reason.

Where do I start? For those who know me in person or on FB, this will come as no surprise. For those who have been following our blog for a few years, I have some news.

Early 2009 we looked at the wait times from China and concluded that we were many, many years away from a referral. Some website calculators using referral data predict our referral to be another ten years away. You may be aware that it has always been our intention to have a blended family of biological and adopted children. You know where this is headed right?

We made a decision to pursue pregnancy.

Our beautiful boy was born in December. He is now 8 and a half months old.

In February this year, when our son was two months old, new legislation came into effect in Australia. I guess they figured things weren't difficult enough already for Australian couples trying to adopt. Basically, if you have a child under 12 months of age in your care, you are deemed ineligible and your names must be removed from the register of 'suitable adoptive parents'. Once your child turns a year old, you can recommence the adoption process FROM THE BEGINNING. Yep, there is no allowance for putting a file on hold, you are pulled out completely and required to go through the process again, even though the period of ineligibility is temporary.

This seems ludicrous to us and defies logic. We have been told that it is because we need to be prepared to accept the allocation of a child at any given moment, and if we already have a baby we are not in a position to do so. Of course, the facts don't matter - it is irrelevant that China refers on a chronological basis and that we are never going to get an out-of-the-blue surprise phone call one day. This legislation is generic and covers all adoptions in Australia, including local adoptions and those from all participating countries. There is no allowance for individual country programs (eg. those with exorbitant wait times) or family circumstances.

Anyway, long (loooooong) story short, our file has not been pulled from China. We are in the process of pursuing administrative tribunal as we fight to stay logged-in. We are also working towards having the legislation amended, so we'll see what success we have with that.

So that's our news... hopefully it was worth waiting for!

Here's a pic of our joy:

ONE YEAR LOGGED IN!

It's our first year LIDverasry today. Let's look how far we've come in the past year.

When we were logged in, there were 948 days worth of log-ins in front of us.

There are now 899 days.

That makes it a grand total of 49 days referred in the past twelve months.

The most recent referrals were logged in for over 41 months.

Working on an average of 3.1 days of referrals a month, we are due to receive our baby some time in January 2019. (See the calculations)

Ha!

Even if things speed up 10x (what are the chances?) and CCAA starts referring month for month, it will still be 30 months more of waiting, or February 2012 before our referral.

I'm still optimistic that things will speed up after we get through the May 2007 files (when the rules changed). When people ask I tell them we expect it to be another three or four years wait. Surely it won't be ten.

I'm still here!

I missed posting about our 7th and 8th month LIDversaries. Life has been busy and fun and hectic. I am now Vice President of IAFQ and enjoying that very much. We are starting up coffee afternoons for parents-in-waiting. Apart from that, when it comes to the adoption all we can say is 'still waiting!'. Things have stalled a bit in China due to the swine flu, like they needed any assistance slowing down!

More to come...

942

That's how many days of dossiers need to be processed before the CCAA gets to our log in date (8th Sept 2008). Nine hundred and forty-two. I was planning to fill a jar with 942 M&Ms and each month when referrals occur I would take out and eat the number of dates they got through. Only thing is, the M&Ms would probably go stale by the time our date rolled around. With the average referral rate about 6 days/month, predictions are that we won't receive our allocation until August 2016. HA! So I need to think of another fun way to mark the referrals each month. Any ideas?

(And for the record, I do not believe it will take eight years to get to our LID... I hold hope that things will improve!)

Dossier to China

Oh, for the longest time I've wanted to be able to say we are DTC... and now we are! Two years and twelve days since lodging our Expression of Interest in being assessed, and 8 months and 15 days since being approved (we do things quickly in Queensland, have you noticed?) our dossier is on a QANTAS plane and making its way to China. I saw a QANTAS plane in the sky on my way home from work tonight and choked up a little.

We are officially Qld batch #1 2008. Don't hold your breath, I doubt there will be any further batches from Qld this year. The China officer advised that in 6-8 weeks she will contact the CCAA (China Centre of Adoption Affairs) and find out our log-in-date.

To say I'm relieved is an understatement.

I know there is a massive wait ahead of us, but I do feel like we have finished one chapter of a book and are starting a new chapter. And that feels good!

Can someone say... slow?

Coming out of hibernation for a quick update. Wish it was better news - looks like our excitement at having an August 2008 (08/08) LID was a pipe dream. Probably was a bit too ambitious to think it could take less than nine months from being approved to being logged in.

*blink*.

Anyway,first update came from the Dept's China officer ten days ago:
'The files were sent to the Notary on 8 August 2008. The files have now been sent back from Notary and I received them this morning. I have now couriered the files to the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade. Once I receive the files back from DFAT I will take them to the Chinese Consulate.'

Then another one two days ago:
'I received the files back from the Department of Foreign Affairs yesterday afternoon, and have now walked the files to the Chinese Consulate this morning.'

With a promise to keep us up to date.

That's all we know! No clue or indication yet how long things will take at the Consulate. I hope to share some DTC (Dossier-to-China) news in the not-too-distant future, followed by LID (log-in-date) news shortly after that.

And I will still update about the auspiciousness of the number 8 soon!

(photo by Randy Son of Robert via Flickr)

[un]Lucky number seven

I spoke with the China officer at the Dept today to find out the current status of our file and to see whether there were five files ready to be batched and sent to China yet. She advised that they had now decided to put seven files in this batch. Four are ready to go (including us) and another three still have to compile their dossier. While I love the fact that our child would have six other batch-buddies, I would also be happy with three or four.

I politely mentioned that we had been ready and waiting for months, and that every week longer at this end potentially adds months at the other end. She understands why we would be concerned and frustrated - although I'm not sure how much because from every conversation I've had with people in the Dept, I don't believe anyone there monitors the monthly China allocations closely and knows the stats, history, trends or realities. At least they have removed the '17 months wait from China' information from their website.

I asked how long we would wait for these last three files, and was it possible to draw a line in the sand somewhere and if they aren't ready by that date they could wait for the next batch. Apparently this is beyond her control and would need to be decided higher up.

I can feel a letter coming on.

Is it okay if I have a little rant?

Ya know what, we've been 'officially' in this process for two years now AND OUR FILE IS STILL IN AUSTRALIA! Lol! I don't know what I'll think or how I'll feel if we aren't batched and Dossier-To-China in July. I always thought (way back before the time-lines blew out and before Expressions of Interest for adopting reopened in Qld) that we would be travelling to China and receiving our baby in 2008.

Actually, the plan in my head went something like this:
2008 - adopt
2009 - bio baby
2011 - bio baby
2012 - adopt

I had it all worked out. I know, four kids in five years. I'm nutty like that, but let me live in my utopian world for a moment. Now the reality is probably something like this:

2013 - adopt
2014 - realise I'm probably too old for a bio baby. cry. raise an only child.

I'm being a drama queen. The wait is kinda getting to me, and we haven't even STARTED the real wait. I just want the security of being logged-in.

The Department has these insane rules, like you can't have a homegrown baby while you are in the adoption process because you need to show that you are 100% committed to the adoption, and apparently if you are pursuing pregnancy that means adoption really isn't what you want to do. No recognition there for people who choose to have a blended family and who ARE 100% committed to adoption AND having bio children (unless you have already finished having all your bio kids and are adopting to complete your family). It's one or the other. It stinks.

People go around the rules. They just don't tell the Dept they are having a baby and then at their two-year update go, 'surprise!'. I don't know if I could that. Aaron wouldn't do that (have you met the guy? he's the most rule-abiding, integrity dripping, straight down the line person God ever created).

So we sit here in limbo, wondering... waiting... aging LOL!

I know you love pics...

No adoption news. File is still in Australia. The new China officer started with the Department and sent us an email to introduce herself. Who are these other couples we are waiting for? PLEASE HURRY UP! Every week the file stays here could potentially add months to the wait. I've even had a few fleeting thoughts of trying to have a baby in the meantime. Don't get excited, there's been no serious contemplation, just fleeting thoughts as I ponder the extending wait and my age.

To more positive news, the IAFQ 30th Anniversary picnic was held three weeks ago. That's how long it has taken me to make the time to get the pics of my camera and write about it.

Official reports are that there were about a hundred attendees.


Country flags flapping in the wind.


Lainie, my adoption blogging sista, and I.


The patient couple.

An update, for what it's worth!

The latest info is that there are two dossiers ready and waiting (ours and another). The Dept will only send dossiers to China in batches of five. Apparently there are three more 'not far behind' that the Dept was going to follow up this week. A new officer for the China program has been appointed and starts on the 28th April. I never would have imagined that we'd get to May and still not be DTC (dossier to China), but it's starting to look that way!

Brought to you by the letter W

It's been eight weeks since our final assessment, and still no report! (Can you believe it?!) I emailed a query three weeks ago and was told they would find out the status and get back to me. I'll make contact again this week.

I was thinking today about the annoying timing of it all. I turn thirty on January 30. We were hoping to have everything ready to go so that our file can be sent as soon as possible after that. Files from Qld usually go over in batches of 5-7, so I'm hoping we will be the last couple in a batch, rather than the first. Queensland doesn't have masses of files going over, so sometimes it's a matter of waiting weeks or months to have a complete batch. If we're the first couple in a batch it will mean a bit more waiting.

Chinese New Year starts Feb 7 next year. The whole of China basically shuts down and parties for a few weeks, so it's possible that we could be held up by that.

But we'll get there. Eventually. And we will be placed with a child. One day.

It was some time around the end of 1999 (when I was almost 22 years old and 30 seemed so far away) when we decided to adopt from China, so we know what it's like to wait. We just wish we didn't have to!