I had my individual interview on Saturday afternoon. Nothing to report on really, just that it happened. I was done in just over an hour and a half, which is a bit different to Aaron's which went for three hours! Our case worker asked us the same questions in our individual interviews, so either I don't waffle, or Aaron does! I think we only have one more interview, which will be a couple one again. Checkity-check-check-checkity-check!
First of all, check out the new blog header for Checking Boxes!
That's not the most exciting part. Now click the baby.
Woohoo! Now you can play Beat the Paperchase at Checking Boxes! The instructions should appear, including a Play button. You need a score of 1400 to beat the paperwork.
When you've had a play, fill in the poll on the left to let me know how you went. (Poll will be active for 60 days, so if you're reading this through the archives it won't be there).
I should note that I haven't tested this on any machine than my little Mac using Firefox, so it would be great if you would let me know whether it's actually working out there in different browsers etc. It's taken me hours of playing with code to get it to work in Blogger, so I hope it's all functioning correctly!
All credit to my magnificent friend and colleague Kristine (check out a couple of her many websites - like Flash Classroom or Games in Learning). Thanks Kris, love your work and appreciate our new header and game heaps. It'll give our adopting friends something to do during the loooong wait!
Oh boy. I just finished watching a repeat of Gone to a Good Home, a documentary about adoption practices in Australia between the 1950s and the 1970s. Over 150 000 unwed mothers had their babies taken from them at birth, most never even catching a glimpse of their child. They didn't choose to give their children over to adoption, they were tricked or forced into signing the papers. Most would have chosen to raise their child and would probably have done a wonderful job of it.
The documentary follows Lily's story, and if you didn't know it to be true you'd think she was making it up. The bullying, discrimination and harsh treatment that these teenage girls endured is horrific, and as a result many of them lived sorrow-filled lives.
It makes me question the circumstances surrounding birth mothers/parents of abandoned Chinese babies. We may never know whether they experience the same heartbreak yet feel that they have no choice due to societal pressures and national law. Even though their babies may not be forcefully taken from them (though in cases they are... usually before they are born), the situation that leads the mother/parents to abandon is often a result of social expectations and responsibility. Yes, I'm probably generalising and I'm acutely aware that every case is different, but I can't help but wonder how these women/couples deal with their choices (or lack of) for the remainder of their lives.
We look back on Australia's adoption history and in cases like Lily's story we are deeply saddened. We wonder, 'how could we really have been like that?' because the world is such a different place now. What will China and the world be like in another thirty years, and will Chinese society reflect on it's nation's practices and be equally saddened at the situations that lead so many children to be abandoned?
One of those babies will be ours. And there probably won't be a single day where I won't think about her birth parents. Even though loss is at the heart of adoption, it can also be something so joyous and beautiful, as families are created and children gain parents. Even though adoption is our first preference, we acknowledge that it may really be the second-best option for a child who deserves to be raised in their culture with their birth family. Unfortunately that option is not available for so many children. I think the second-best option is a pretty darn good one, and I'm working my butt off to learn everything I can about parenting transnationally adopted children to ensure that our baby always knows unconditional love and acceptance.
We were all set for our individual interviews today. Our adoption case worker arrived at about 10.30am and I boot-scooted out of the place so she could chat with Aaron first. Aaron's interview took about three hours, and when it came time for mine our case worker received a phone call about a sick child of hers, and had to leave! So now I get to bug Aaron about what she asked and how he answered. Usually the individual interviews enable the case worker to see whether we agree about important issues and have the same perspectives on things. Hopefully next weekend she can squeeze me in for a catch-up interview.
Go Australia! Yeah yeah yeah! This is the first time I've seen Australia find out referral information before the rest of the world! Usually we find out a good week later than everyone else.
I don't think there are any Queensland families in the latest allocations, but I know that there is one very happy batch from Tasmania!
It's disheartening though to see that only four more days made it through this month. There must be a huge truckload of families logged in with a November 2005 date.
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On Friday we met with our case worker again for an interview. It went for about two and a half hours - so much talking.
She asked about how we reached the decision to adopt, stuff about religion ('what do you know about religion in China?' 'what if your child doesn't want to go to your church or won't accept your beliefs?'), about our support network, about how our families feel, about finances, how we spend our leisure time, and a fair amount of time asking about parenting both bio and adopted children ('what if you have two of one and one of the other - how will the other feel?' 'if you have a bio child straight after adoption, what will that mean for the adopted child?').
There were some great questions and it was a strangely enjoyable chat. She did say that this was the easy stuff, and we'll get stuck into more heavy stuff toward the end of the assessment. Bring it on! We want to progress!
Last Saturday we went to another IAFQ dinner for waiting parents. We caught up with friends, and made some new ones, and had a complete blast. When we were introducing ourselves to a couple we hadn't met before, the wife said, "Do you have a blog? Checking Boxes? Are you Emma?" Hahha! I don't think that's happened to me before. She's happy to lurk and hasn't left a comment before, but checks in every day. Hi L! Great to meet you and hope we can catch up again soon!
On Sunday we met our adoption case worker (social worker), who is doing our assessment**. We have four more interviews and then she writes our report and recommendation. We have a couple of things to think about before we meet next. First, we need to get our wills written. Second, we need to decide who will take care of our child/children should we both die, and our case worker then has to talk with them. Hrmmm. No idea about that one yet.
**After being assigned our case worker and not hearing from her for over five weeks, I contacted the Dept to advise them. It turns out they had our file on hold (remember this post?), and told our case worker that, despite us never asking for it to be put on hold and specifically saying that we were proceeding as normal.
There's an article in today's Courier Mail that states that there have been 10 million baby girls in India aborted or victims of gendercide in the past twenty years. It's heartbreaking. TEN MILLION. I don't even know how to comprehend a number that big, especially when it relates to human life.
I don't want this to be a morbid entry, but I share it because awareness and education about these issues need mainstreaming.
As most of us know, the same issues are prevalent in China... still. This presentation was shared at the 2007 UN conference on the status of women. It's focus is on the issues related to female abandonment and preference for boys in China. Some alarming facts are presented, but they need to be made known. Whacked out ratios. Steady patterns. Social insanity. And laws that mean if you abandon a baby girl you are punished, but if you kill her it's ignored.
And the wait to adopt gets longer.
Blondie over at Doing the Adoption Limbo tagged me with the following:
The meme
*Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
*People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
*At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and they should read your blog.
Here are my eight things (8 is the Chinese lucky number!)
1. I love to read the newspaper. In a perfect world, I would read the paper every day. (online papers don't count. I'm a purist about this one... even though I do read online papers most days, it's not my preference)
2. I'm scared of dogs.
3. I can write shorthand. Really fast. I think I was the last class ever at my high school for shorthand, because it disappeared out of the curriculum after that. Pitman 2000 is the version I learnt.
4. When I listen to the radio, I switch between stations to hear the DJs. If there's a song playing I'll usually flick to another station.
5. I love visiting cemeteries. I'm not a morbid person at all, I just love the historical aspect and wondering about all the peoples' lives and families..jpg)
6. I go to church in a movie theatre ('theater' to my yankee pals). Not an abandoned old derelict cinema, but a fully operating one. We have to clear out on time so the movies for the day can start. Comfy chairs, a big screen for multimedia - and the lovely aroma of popcorn.
7. I don't wear nail polish or anything like that which puts chemicals into my bloodstream (I'm even scared of panadol) and I try to only use products that are made from 100% pure oils and organic herbs (shampoo and conditioner, body wash, moisturiser etc.) BUT... I get my hair dyed. I'm a walking contradiction. I know I could buy hair dye that is made from natural ingredients, but I would have to apply it myself and I'm too unco for that.
8. I've kept a blog over at livejournal for over six years - and because I'm lazy I took the first five facts for this entry from a similar meme that I did over there back in January. I was really active the first two or three years, but now I only update on an ad hoc basis. I can't keep up with my online presence!! Facebook, myspace, blogger, livejournal, flickr, youtube, schoolfriends, teachertube... aaaagh!
I have to tag eight people. There's probably only eight people who read this blog, so consider yourself tagged! Ba-da-bing ba-da-boom!
Three posts in two days. This has to be some kind of record for me.
Those who refuse to use birth control, have a ligation and pay the extra birth fine will be severely punished' - family planning banner in Guangxi
I read an article today that China has decided to update some of its harsh family planning posters and billboards.
Some of the existing slogans on walls and billboards say things like:
'Raise fewer babies but more piggies'
'Houses toppled, cows confiscated, if abortion demand rejected'
'One more baby means one more tomb'
'Better ten graves than one extra birth' (there's a human rights book by this name)
The slogans which have been approved to replace the questionable ones include:
'The mother earth is too tired to sustain more children'
'Both boys and girls are parents' hearts'
While searching for photographs of such posters, I came across this site which shows the population policy propaganda posters over time.
I also learnt about the incredibly sad case of Jin Yani in China, who is suing family planning officials due to the ramifications of a full term forced abortion seven years ago. Ugh. 
