Monday, October 11, 2010

The post I didn't want to write

We had our court hearing, and ultimately while the news is not positive, there were some good elements.

The tribunal is not able to rule against legislation, and so the decision to remove our names from the register and our file from China remains. It sucks. I don't know what else to say.

I mentioned there were some good elements. The tribunal was awesome. They believe we had a very strong case and said we are a very impressive couple whose passion and commitment were evident, however they are bound by law. They said if there was any way at all they could change the decision that the Dept had made that they would. They were incredibly empathetic towards us, and justifiably interrogative of the Dept. They drilled the Dept. on a number of issues trying to see if there was any way around this at all; sadly there wasn't/isn't.

All along the Dept kept saying, 'Don't worry, when your son turns 1 you can start the process again!' (like it was no big deal to just lose the past four years spent in the process). Now they have advised us that even if we reapply when he turns one (in eight weeks time), they are unlikely to progress our application at all in this financial year as they already have enough couples to deal with. They have also said that they wouldn't accept us for China BECAUSE THE WAIT IS TOO LONG so they are directing couples to other countries. Can anyone else see the irony in this? Sometimes I wish Queensland had private adoption agencies instead of an apparently anti-adoption government department managing these things.

The recommendation for us is to finish having any biological children and then when the youngest of those turns one year of age to apply again, and hopefully by that time they will be accepting couples for China again and able to move us through the process.

And that is that.





But trusting. Trusting that everything will work out eventually. We will have our blended family. It will not be in the time frame we hoped or planned for, and we have a thousand more boxes to check and hoops to jump, but we will not give up.

Thank you for sharing our journey.


on the eastern journey said...

Oh my word Emma. Bless your heart. Is there anyway to get around this by accepting a waiting child? My girlfriend just turned in their dossier and the next day was matched with a waiting child who had one minor, minor issue with an ear. They live out in the middle of no where in China so they couldn't manage some of the other waiting child needs, but they could manage the minor ear issue. Is there a way that you could be matched with a child before your dossier is pulled?

Emma said...

hey Sandra,
Our state doesn't participate in the waiting child program. Two Australian states are trialling it at the moment, and Queensland is not one of them. In any case, we are still deemed ineligible under the new legislation and I can't see anyone in the Dept agreeing to more work (on their behalf) with our file. I requested that someone have some courageous leadership to make some logical decisions, but I can't see it happening. There is a revolving door of staff and consequently no-one willing to step up. That, and a culture and history of using the 'in the child's best interest' line, even when something clearly is not.
Thanks for the thought though... and how absolutely wonderful for your friend!

Anonymous said...

So sorry Emma and Aaron
I have followed your journey and feel for you both.
Mum of the very happy Pink Chandelier

Anne said...

Hi Emma. I was sorry to read the bad news. As someone who withdrew from the adoption program earlier this year, because we were pregnant, I was really hoping you might have had a victory. I do hope it works out for you and your family. Good luck. Anne.

Ray said...

Hi Emma,

Don't know if you remember me, but you used to comment on my blog a lot, a blog I have neglected for a couple of years. Congratulations on your new son and I'm sorry to hear about your problems with adopting a child.

We were caught up in the long wait last year when we decided to go on the special needs list. Last December, we were referred a two-year-old girl with club feet. We brought her home in May and she has had corrective casts and surgery, after which we expect her to lead an otherwise normal life.

I'm sorry the adoption journey is so hard, particularly in Australia. You have a beautiful son and I hope the best for you guys.

-Ray (Red Threads: A China Adoption Blog)