The post I didn't want to write

We had our court hearing, and ultimately while the news is not positive, there were some good elements.

The tribunal is not able to rule against legislation, and so the decision to remove our names from the register and our file from China remains. It sucks. I don't know what else to say.

I mentioned there were some good elements. The tribunal was awesome. They believe we had a very strong case and said we are a very impressive couple whose passion and commitment were evident, however they are bound by law. They said if there was any way at all they could change the decision that the Dept had made that they would. They were incredibly empathetic towards us, and justifiably interrogative of the Dept. They drilled the Dept. on a number of issues trying to see if there was any way around this at all; sadly there wasn't/isn't.

All along the Dept kept saying, 'Don't worry, when your son turns 1 you can start the process again!' (like it was no big deal to just lose the past four years spent in the process). Now they have advised us that even if we reapply when he turns one (in eight weeks time), they are unlikely to progress our application at all in this financial year as they already have enough couples to deal with. They have also said that they wouldn't accept us for China BECAUSE THE WAIT IS TOO LONG so they are directing couples to other countries. Can anyone else see the irony in this? Sometimes I wish Queensland had private adoption agencies instead of an apparently anti-adoption government department managing these things.

The recommendation for us is to finish having any biological children and then when the youngest of those turns one year of age to apply again, and hopefully by that time they will be accepting couples for China again and able to move us through the process.

And that is that.

Devastated.

Heartbroken.

Frustrated.

Annoyed.

But trusting. Trusting that everything will work out eventually. We will have our blended family. It will not be in the time frame we hoped or planned for, and we have a thousand more boxes to check and hoops to jump, but we will not give up.

Thank you for sharing our journey.